Live the simple life : The Devil wears Prada (aka, what do you pack when you relocate?)

So, residency ! The words resounded in my mind. I'd seen all my seniors and colleagues here. Feverish, sweating it out, studying, going craaaaazy. But here it was ! Finally.

It's never the end of the road in this career. Just when there's an end, there's another beginning.

I couldn't help but think 'I saw myself here. I saw myself here when I worked those nights and thought it would never happen, when everybody told me it was tough. When I thought about how I would have to somehow manage a good score.
When would those exams end?
Where could I go?'

I feel people underestimate the value of a dream. I really feel that way. I think people should be allowed to savor the fruits of their dream for a while. It is what sets forth the desire for new aspirations and new joys.

Internal medicine, I'd always wanted. In a university hospital. Now here it was. Overwhelming me with its simple presence, just like that, like a happy bird on my shoulder. And yet I knew I'd worked for it. All those nights I sat and read and highlighted and reread and gone for this dream, repeating cups of tea, wearing myself into a thin, pale version of me with dark circles, acne, when I looked uncared for, just reading, having a zero social life. What would it be worth, when I don't know where I'd end up ?

All of this. Today.

I'm here. This exciting, scary moment, when the dream hasn't even begun yet. When I've hope that all goes well, and I'm prepared for almost anything. The real hardwork, the exciting part, the craziness hasn't even begun.

This morning, as I got yet another pre employment check done at the hospital I'd worked in previously, I met my mentor.

She is a big buff in oncology, a good woman. Someone I have a love/sometimes-warm-sometimes-wanting-to-run-away-from/admiration/scare relationship with. Someone I'd like to professionally resemble in honesty, administrative knack and practice.
'Take the good parts' the Dalai Lama often says in his speeches. Take the good parts.
She handed me a copy of 'The Emperor of All Maladies - A biography of Cancer' by Siddhartha Mukherjee.

She was in a red cotton saree. So typical. Dr. K, the intimidating head of medical oncology in her cotton saree, and the pleated fall of the fabric over her shoulder falling over so nonchalantly, just like the way she walks and talks. Without a care in the world.

"I want you to read this", she said, looking at me warmly. Warmly ??? I thought. When I think of her I think of hot coffee/iceberg. I imagine her drinking her coffee in slow, laid-back style in her cup and saucer, and a few minutes later, the cup and saucer flying out of her room, because the patient files took too long to arrive.

"You will relate. You will grow, and you will understand so many things that I related to when I read this book", she continued. "You will enjoy Connecticut. It's a beauuuutiful state !", she drawled. "I studied in Connecticut. It's where I did my fellowship in Oncology in the seventies. You will love New Hampshire and Vermont. And the fall is so, so beautiful. Aarthi this is all you'll ever want, trust me."

Suddenly I felt like Andrea Sachs sitting in front of the Miranda Priestly from The Devil wears Prada.
Here she was, talking to me, making every hair on the back of my neck stand. I wanted to belong, all my life to a dream. I knew that inspiration was on to me. I could become anything. 'I AM wet cement', I thought, and it's my call, now !

'Fellowship in oncology. Hmm. History repeats itself..have you heard about that ?' a statement in my mind quietly crept in.
'Shut up' I quipped back to it, 'I don't know if I want oncology, and I'll never ever want administration. I haven't even Started MD ! Quit counting chickens already ! ', shocked at where that even came from.
'Oh, you know it you little devil, you.'
'I DONT !!!!! I have no plans. I am passionate about community health. I'm too peaceful and calm a person to want something so big. Maybe I'll ale up endocrinology because I love it. I want a slow, small life. Maybe I'll get into primary care. The future is unwritten', I fought back.
'That's the best part. You'll figure. But small life ? You ? Ha ! Haha !'
'WTF !'

Crazy. Two halves of my mind were conversing with each other, one taunting another, while Dr.K painted pictures of the fall and the snow at Hartford in my imagination with her words.

(photo credit : Facebook.com)

I loved and hated it that I had dreams. Dreams that might flower and dreams that might not. But I had the freedom to dream. Not dream about my life tied to anybody else's.
But the real dream !!! Of being somewhere beautiful and the opportunity to do something phenomenal ! Of realizing my own worth, for myself. All these amazing physicians I've met and adored, whose knowledge, careers and experience I'd looked at with thirsty eyes, didn't just get there like that. They'd had big dreams, studied at wonderful places and really worked their asses off. Of course, they did !

"So you leave in three days. How are you spending your time ?" she asked.

"Packing my bags. Paperwork. Staying up nights. Writing. Reading. Behaving like it's the end and the beginning of the world at the same time. My room is chaos. One moment I'm thrilled and the next, I'm going nuts. It isn't what it's drawn out to be. I am not partying with my friends, I have no farewell, there are no glamorous selfies on Facebook, no phenomenal status updates, and when I look around, it's just so unlike a typical send off. Even my mother is in another country right now", I said, almost panicking at the number of things I had bottled up.

"It always is that way, Aarthi. Keep busy, do your own thing. When I went there in the seventies, I didn't even know how to bear the seatbelt on the airplane. It was my first flight ever. I was just packed off to a place with no Indian food in those years by my ambitious parents. Hardcore Gujarati girl that I was, I didn't have too many options, specially with food. I had 108 US dollars with me. That was it. I packed a few things here and there and just took off."

What do you pack anyway when you're taking your whole life to another country ? Have you ever asked yourself this ? What can one pack ? Mementos ? Cards ? A house ? A whole life ? What is it that I won't find there ? I mean people live there too. Very happily. How do I even know what the limit is ? I could pack the whole house and this and that. There's no end to wanting.

(photo credit : Facebook.com)

What do I take with me ?

 "Take with you what you won't find there." she continued.

"Which I might figure once I actually get there and miss it" I responded.

We laughed.

What does one take to a new country anyway ?
Cosmetics ? Kitchenware ? Indian clothes ? Indian stuff ? Photographs ? Memories ?

Clothes ?

Clothes ???
Never mind. The Devil wears Prada.
'Oh ! what happened to the simple life, missy?'

And so it goes on.


-Aarthi

When what you never imagined, happens (How to take a bad break up / let it go)

Human relationships are so complex. And yet so simple. They can blossom with a word and be broken by another.

Even when there's a big hoo-ha about all the positivity and the goodness in the world, I find myself talking about the complexities. The sad stuff, sometimes the negative stuff. Some of my posts talk about how to deal with challenging situations, with difficulty, and still motivate us to move on. They talk about letting go of difficult relationships, moving on from breakups.
I was mulling over why I'm focusing on the not-so-flowery stuff in my writing when my sis told me that it's actually alright to talk about how to get to the other side of sorrow. Across.

Hmm.
We all experience it.
We deal with it by avoiding it and occupying ourselves with work and/or (unfortunately for some-) addiction.
Or by sinking into its depth and becoming incapable of being happy, but never really experiencing, learning and getting out of it.

Some of us are so unknowingly wounded by these demanding situations that we never grow out of it.
It becomes a painful part of our personality, changing the way we perceive relationships, marriages and love for the worse, when infact, everyone deserves the happiness of new love and new lovers.

Experiencing a personally challenging journey is adventurous. It prepares you for the best, because experience is such a good thing. Good and bad experiences both, count.

It's okay to make that mistake. 
It's really okay to be in a break up. A bad one. They happen all the time. It's okay to be in a relationship that falls apart, and have all your plans fail and just fall. Flat out on your face. Because nothing is more liberating than accepting that it's over and moving on.
It's okay to know what it's like to feel pain and heartbreak, and admit to it. You don't need to pretend like it didn't touch you, or you were the lesser hurt one out of the two. It's really okay if you don't have it together all the time. Many people do not know how to let their emotions out healthily. Crying, falling apart and arguing are absolutely healthy ways of letting out negative emotion, and it must come out because it exists. After all, where can a river flow from if there's no water at the source, and why should it stop flowing if there is ?

What people say or think, worries us.
On so many occasions.
If they say it's okay to laugh, smile and be happy, then you should be asking those people why they spurn so much at you when you don't have it together. Why do they pressure you so much to get a grip ?
The truth is, it doesn't matter. They don't matter. Those people who tell you how you should be, what your problem is, they don't even matter.

(picture credit : weheartit.com)

What really matters is you.
Your personal growth through a difficult situation is so, so important. You are you, and you have all the right to deal with your emotions the way you see fit for your betterment.
Don't be okay with people who take your feelings for granted, and at the same time don't regret it when things don't go your way. That, will make you a stronger person who will be with someone as complete and sorted as you are, and more capable of loving you and seeing the lovely person that you are. After all, they have to be and feel like they are worthy of your wonderful love too. Remember that.

It is impossible that only one person, a single situation or circumstance could make us happy, or be the love of our lives.
Babe, you're mortal. There must be many more ways, and there are. Know that if one road hasn't worked out for any reason, the other door that has always been open has been waiting for you and calling out to you. Just make sure your eyes are open to see that road that waited for you to turn up, so you could give it your first chance.

I've been in these shoes.
As much as I've experienced the beauty of being in love, doing and receiving nice things from the men I've been with, I really do know what it's like to be sad in it, to cry, to feel hurt, to feel let down, to have my expectations crash and be let go of, nowhere, on the middle of the road. I know how a bad, bad break up with someone you love feels. Awful.

As a teenager, I was in a bad break up. I didn't know if I'd ever be the same again, but I remember just distracting my way out of it. I went out with friends, watched movies, went dancing, took walks everyday, worked on my fitness and I was back to my happy self in no time. Yep, I was low and it felt like it would never end. But that's never the story.
It's all a matter of time before you realize your worth.

(Picture credit : simpleremiders.com)

I know, it doesn't feel alright, when what you're sharing with someone special is watered down to a "nothing" of sorts by someone who isn't prepared to take on the responsibility of what they got into. That's their choice.

Your choice is to let it go.
Your choice is NOT anger or resentment or hatred. Let it go. Just accepting that it's over makes it so so easy. (trust me on this one)

(Picture credit : Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love)

Just have plain love for yourself. I know, this sounds so, so irritating and wrong and impossible right now. But decide and know, that you were always worth the best and you need not ever settle for less. Your priority is you. It's just about peacefully letting go and finding your life back. It's really a part of the growth curve. The situations you attract into your life are always for your betterment if you seek them out.

You are not required to go about like everyone else, testing the waters and absolutely being sure that the other person is more invested than you, just so you feel safe and in control.
You are not required to play defensive and try to control a new relationship by being unwilling to invest emotions, just because your last relationship didn't go right.
Don't jump into a fling. Don't do any of these things. Just concentrate on yourself right now. You need yourself, your identity and your happiness.

You're very very precious, darling, and fully deserving of love as all human beings are, and when you build your walls to every new person and experience, you're only blocking out the good that is coming to you. Don't ever avoid a situation to feel good, you just get in again, but wiser, and more learned with the next new person. The correct relationship will respect you and give you what you deserve.

Eat well. Get some protein. Have fruit, plenty of water, get sunshine, exercise and rest. Go to a spa, get a pedicure or a foot rub. Dress well. Go out on walks. Make tea, make coffee. Read comic books. Talk to someone. Breathe. It's not the end, is it ? Look around you !

Human relationships are volatile. They require effort to stay grounded. Now it also matters that the other person makes that effort, not just you.
Be grounded. Be your own rock. Let go of the people who cannot love you the way you are. Open your palm, let go of them with peace. Take your passions along with you and in no time, you'll have your kickass life and the happiness you want. Just because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It exists and believe me, I've seen it so recently, and it's very easy if you trust it. You'll be there before you know it, and you've my promise.

Take therapy.
For those that do not stay around family or have friends close by, go see a counselor. It isn't glamourous, but this is so, so essential if you want to talk to someone and your family and friends aren't enough. It is not crazy, it's not weird. Everyone goes through stuff, and the idea is to get you back on solid ground, doesn't matter how.

I'm not joking about this for one second.

If you really, really need help and you feel like talking to someone or sharing how you feel with someone, you think you cannot find that help elsewhere, email me.

I mean it. Just click on the link and share with me whatever it is that bothers you about the breakup. I'm here to listen. And I will, I promise.

Much, much love and wishing you healing !

Aarthi

On to newer things

After being pushed and prodded by a friend of mine to update my dusty ten year old blog full of ramblings of the journey of a girl who climbed from her teenage to her womanhood,
I thought "Why the heck not ?" If I need a new identity from time to time, so does my blog ! I have so many lovely things to share anyway.

So I've given my blog link a new name.

"Live that simple life."
Simple would hardly mean non-experience. It would probably mean maybe, I would choose a book over new shoes. Or choose a nice rendezvous with a writer over ogling outside a Jimmy Choo store. Life is always giving you expansion, if you choose to see it.

(This picture was shared by Brené Brown, one of my favorite authors. She is an inspiration to all the people out there who love sharing their precious life experiences through writing)

I urge you to try out something new.
New things, new people have a lot to offer. New conversations which open you up to things you'd never otherwise know, new adventures which expand your horizons, new jobs open you up to interesting stories and events in people's lives that will touch your life in more ways than one.

The world is full of interesting people. The other day I met a physicist (yes, they actually are interesting people) at a book store, and we had an extensive chat about time travel being real and that the theory of memory, intuition and serendipity being nothing but time travel. It was a "eureka" moment for me. On another occasion, an old friend at New York reminded me that we pay too much attention to things such as mating and/or having a significant other, that we forget that we ourselves are capable of interesting things, far beyond what we could ever imagine to find in another person. It woke me up and made me realize how true it is that we are trapped in the madness of having to worry about who's doing what or how we "should" be showing people that we are having fun, instead of actually having it (My last post is extensively about this).

Friends will stay. Men will come. Women will come. What matters is that in this life, at this moment, you grow. You grow to be someone you love and enjoy, someone whose company you enjoy. Have real, seriously interesting things to know, talk about and do, beyond basic instincts. Write, blog, listen to stories, listen to podcasts from interesting people, listen to new music not to share but just to listen to it, cook something new for yourself, learn to make a hammock, make kombucha, make mango compote, make something ! Play the ukulele or the accordion, take evening walks with your iPod. Something !

On to newer things.

So now that I've been doing basic Hatha Yoga for a few years, I thought why not take it a level up and try some aerobics ? I tried Capoeira, but I stopped when I found it to be demanding to the point of competition, and I don't think I'd ever want to introduce competition in my me-time, doing me-things. My simple theory is this - you could think you are passionate about a lot of things, and you could think this is "your calling". But if in a year you haven't made more time than two weeks to do it (twenty-four by seven), it isn't you. You're still on the road to discovery. Hence, I would think that many people describe their work as their passion. I agree. Your job, your work, define your choices as a part of your innate personality, your depth in life, your very basic native sentiment, whether you look at the world as a place of buy and sell, glamour and superficiality or see people and lives that you're so closely knit to, as you. There's a lot of difference. And it also applies to new interests. Nothing that you find newly in your life, be it experiences, hobbies, interests, relationships or friendships should resemble old things - making the same choices only teaches us the things we already know.

New activity, I thought. None of the stuff I've already known.
Now, anti-gravity yoga fascinates me - pilates and aerobics incorporated into yoga. It's caught my attention, at least. Now that I will have time to develop on me, personally, I think it's wonderful. Life couldn't have caught me off-guard at a better moment. So, I'm waiting to sign up for Omfactory. Let's see how it goes. I want to know what it's like to be suspended upside down by fabric drawn from the ceiling, learn to do a full split mid air and the sorts. Sounds delicious right ? :) Well, it is.

New books. Real gripping "books" that that get your belly to ache laughing, or your mind to go off into a parallel universe of thoughts. Maybe if you're a little bit of a nerd, you might love "Fangirl" so much that you'd never want to put it down.

They say every cloud has a silver lining. Sometimes you're stuck in the cloud. And that's okay.
Because no matter what, there's loads and loads of thrill, love and goodness out there :)
You will find all of it if you just open your palm, let go, keep your eyes and heart open to new things, and I know it like I know my name.

Much love,
Aarthi

God Complex - yes or no ?

Since it's saturday night, and I'm here at all the wrong times, doing all the wrong things, I'm going to be giving food for thought only :

For a doctor, does a god complex make you unapproachable ? Or does it actually help you think clearer and help you make important healthcare decisions ?

Is it a pain-in-the-ass part of achievement or is it indispensable to being a good decision maker ? Is that what gives you the edge over the common thinker ? Does it free you from all unnecessary emotions ? Or does it wipe out empathy ?

I'm personally in love with the idea of a clear mind.

-A

Do you see what I see ?

There is a lot of speculation on to perception - the way each one of us sees things.

Sometimes I feel an inexplicable feeling of dissociation, I feel I'm on a psychotropic drug. I know we're all part of the same human entity, yet we're all so unique. We are unified by compassion, love and togetherness yet we also ARE a variety. It's strange that as much as we understand what another person sees, hears and feels, I have a nagging age old doubt that has struck me as well. It took me a long time to realise that I'm not alone in this.

Do you see what I see ?

Is my yellow your green ?

Is my small your big ?

No I'm not talking about color blindness or any medical disorder, I'm just speaking the simple language of perception.

Do you hear what I hear ?

Are our neurons wired in differently so what I peceive as music you would perceive as noise ?

Do I see satisfaction ? Do I understand it ? Maybe you do. Maybe I do. Maybe I can't.

Do we all perceive our thoughts, feelings and fears in the same manner ? Maybe not - and that's probably where compatibility issues arise from.

If artists didn't see what they saw, how would they create ?

If painters didn't see vivid colors and strange images in their heads, would we have the beautiful works of Mannerism ? Did Michaelangelo and Da Vinci see what we see ? Did they even see the same thing at all ?

If Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and Mark Knopfler didn't hear what they heard in their heads, would music have variety ?

Dr. Vilayanur Ramachandran talks about mirror neurons, in this Ted talk : [ http://www.ted.com/talks/vs_ramachandran_the_neurons_that_shaped_civilization.html ], and more in detail in his book, which somewhat does help me understand why we could feel things in common. Empathy, perspective, yet..I feel so out of your zone. Wonder why ? Is there a mirror neuron that you have to understand my sense of dissociation too ?

Aarthi

A mountainous wishlist

I so wish I could have these right here, right now

A landcruiser
20 days
A pair of north face
Bose noise canceling headphones on my I pod
No company

A girl needs a road trip. Alone. It's the only way to discover what you really want. And how hard you can kick when you're faced with a situation, and how much you can go without worry, and how much you can survive on limited resources.

When I have company, it's distraction, it's help. Two things i need to learn to live without.

I need the Himalayas.
Like a thirsty desert nomad needs water.

From where I stand right now, I am that nomad.

I 'want' what I 'need'. That's the 1st most important crossroad in life.

all in a brownie day's work

To me, a brownie day is a day when you've done what you wanted to,rather than what you're supposed to, and there's no guilt about it.

pleasure is my addiction. what gives me that pleasure changes. everyday..AND probably every moment. that way i'm addicted. and quite mysteriously, NOT addicted either.

too much food is really good once in a way.

being mushy is not idiotic. it's therapeutic.

today i learned two new things from two interesting sources:

"Mellow is the man
who knows what he's been missing
many, many men
cant see the open road"

"together we stand, divided we fall"

health is infact, everything.

there's never too less time to grab aside to dream. or nap

valley of thoughts. useful, useless, beautiful, good, bad, scary and dreamy. i'd like a hand while i fall in it.

now is great, tomorrow will have a chance to become now, let's wait for it patiently.

who's my soul twin ? i'd like to know.

all in a brownie day's work

tea talk

pretty wired up i feel.

there are many people, who have come along in these 22 years

who have shown me who i am, what i'm capable of, who have changed my life for better, not for worse.

some i've grown up with, some i've disagreed with, some i've loved.. some great people and some, incompetent people.

stability is pretty much a dream. there is nothing such as stability since everything, i believe, is volatile. our thoughts, our actions and our desires.

this year, things have changed tremendously.

my closest friend and sister has found, in a friend, the man worth committing to, for a lifetime.

parents are preparing to see that little girl grow up and be in the shoes that they were in, 26 years ago.

i'm in my final move of completing the first step towards my dream.

one of my best friends and mentor, is changing job, experimentally. just like a kid. just because he fancies it.

my few close, precious people are branching out into different futures.

i've found a soul sister.

i've found love.

change is changing me.

now.

birds of a feather flock together

by all means and laws and facts and rhymes and riddles and words,
explain to me what 'originality' is.

what is originality and creativity if we cannot see them the way they have to be seen ?
what is credit ?
why do we give people credit and why do we seek it ?

mostly, we all seek appreciation.
only, remove the word "mostly" so, you'll be left with the truth.
for that reason, credit exists.

i believe that the roots of originality lie in chance.
what would we be if we were all the same?
since it's the human mind/animal mind that seeks a variety in everything..just everything, right from colors to clothes to seasons to places to mates, what would we be without originality ? NOT human, definitely.

what makes originality, is accident.
creativity, is an accidental arrangement of what you have with you. originality is haphazard.
since you know and see the best example, i'll name our planet. what's 'organized' about nature ? she's random. she's wild.
you won't see the same landscape in two different places. no two pine trees are the same. even identical twins are different !
that's originality. just a planned and beautiful accident.

if it's really an accident and it is random, what credit need we, for what is created (by us?) in a freak accidental moment? for our originality isn't even original.
because, 'randomness' is a copied thought. we're like horses on race tracks. programmed to commit randomness. to randomly arrange things to get something that 'looks' different from the rest, is a copied thought. we are trained, right from the time we're born to know, that randomness will give us something that 'looks' new.
but that, is not originality.. that, is merely an illusion of originality.
seeking originality and pursuing it, by now, wouldn't feel like an awesome idea anymore, with all the hue and cry we make of it.
when we do not know what originality really means, there's no big idea behind chasing something you cannot understand. and for our perception of originality, credit ? i doubt there's a solid base to this.

it is indeed very easy, at such an elementary level of thinking, to say that giving up credit is no big thing, for credit means nothing. however, it isn't that easy to find a person satisfied in their own intention, seeking nothing from anybody else. no appreciation, no approval.
nevertheless, 'credit' is the most useless entity. it's as ridiculous as how badly we need it. in all honesty,i can't stop laughing at how badly i need the credit for things i do, though i know it's absolutely purposeless.

what we must possess for achievement is real ego.
whereas, what we do possess, is phantom ego.. what we put on display. and food for phantom ego, is credit.
behind that facade, there's fear.
anger is a part of phantom ego. it arises when we cannot digest a fact or when we cannot discard useless opinions, and it hits us at our insecurities. you cannot fight the truth, nor should we ideally have those insecurities to regard useless opinions as significant.
to be insecure, is not human. it's stupid. and to believe that it's human, is even more stupid. because, somebody's told you that too, right ? why blindly believe in something that's not original ?
why should satisfying others satisfy us ? why should we look unto another's smile for approval ? another's nod, to be sure ? what's to be sure about, when you know what you want ?
there are no original thoughts, because we live in fear of defying.
things we do looking for everybody else's approval is not selfless, it's just being insecure in self. it dissolves the purpose of existing.
it doesn't make us. it kills 'us'

every step you take from now, think of how much of 'you' there is, in it

aarthi

happiness lies in ..l..

The solution i've realised, to unreasonable happenings and people, is only and only to let go.
After a lot of thinking and well, i must admit, wasting significant time and energy..i found an answer

the sensible ones will know your worth and win you. Or win you back.

there are 4 rules in testing times-
do not be answerable to anyone who doesn't deserve your answerability
stop whining
smile
dress like a charm

life ROCKS that way
-A

taped shut.

My parents brought me up telling me stories about unnecessary rules and going by them, living on them..examining them piece by piece, and following them..there are people who believe in that kind of life.
yes, they've told me it's all rubbish.

it is.

i've heard that and laughed about it, a million times, hardly knowing how it affects each one of us.
as i'm growing up, i can see it everywhere.

the line between code of conduct/code of living and redtapism is anything but THIN.
imagine a law for inhaling. for walking. for eating. that's what the world seems to boil down to, at times !
there's paperwork for the most miniscule of things, a certain way you HAVE TO behave. a certain way you're cut and moulded against all your steadfast protests. a method you must conform to, and pledge to stand by !
and then you become a part of this sordid system. get into it, and grill the rest of the world, with the flow.
most of us don't mind it, though we hate it. and THAT is the attitude that nurtures something as dirty as unnecessary bureaucracy.
well, some of us manage to escape unharmed by that kind of living. Yet at the end of one decade, we can count these "some of us" with just our 10 fingers

Darling, sometimes rules are necessary. so we all don't go mad. so we don't lose track of progress. so that justice lasts.
But that's it.

somewhere along the way, rules lost their very purpose.
there are purposeless purposes.. unreasonable reasons
and anything important, ALWAYS involves redtapism. (my post-intern seniors know it best, right now)
redtapism was born with ego of foolish people who cannot take advantage of anything other than power or position to advance to superiority. Oh no.

sure there are a lot of people around here who are experiencing deja vous..

i'm not going ahead and asking why there are so many red tapes around here, the reason is clear.
modern feudalism at its pinnacle..hah !

it's actually a pretty good world that's making me want to go on, every minute.

i'm learning. So much !

41° 39' 50" North / 83° 33' 19" West

her longing was his..
his wish, hers
he is the earth, and she is the sky
they're both infinite..
they were as far as up and down
but they met over the horizon

like a dew drop on a cold morning grass
as unique and separate as the dew drop and the leaf
and as together as anything could be
that's how they are.

in that space between them,
love emerged.

they're one.

the ONLY ones with the sixth sense ?

so...what's that sixth sense we have that none other than our species has ?
do we even have a sixth sense ?
or is that just a feel-good term to prove our utmost superiority to ourselves as a species ? in that very purpose of proving, we've failed. no one other than our own species gives a damn about who has a sixth sense or who is superior. if you were to tell an animal about it, it wouldn't even understand. not because it's so stupid. but because, that sense and you are so insignificant that it doesn't even matter. try telling a tiger, face to face.."i've a sixth sense, i've a sixth sense"
ha-ha.. you won't even be alive to see the next minute anyway. then you didn't even have COMMON sense.

many great men, in their times, have described the sixth sense as a 'special' sense...maybe an instinct !? no !
other animals have the same instincts as we do.
intellect ? what rubbish. intellect is detrimental. it's the shovel to our own graves.
could it be 'that' thing ? oh wait..WHAT thing?
i've heard from so many people that it could be a sense of humor !
so...animals don't have a sense of humor, huh?
i'm sure all the nature-lovers disagree. 1000 percent.

of course animals have a humor ! probably better than ours..and more animated.
how do cubs, kittens, and puppies play? how do dogs play ?.. if they dont have a sense of humor
have you seen puppies chase you the moment you take a quick step ahead and run? and then halt with playful, expecting eyes the moment you stop..
cubs and kittens run right behind colored objects (that scientifically proved 'black&white' vision theory for animals...i still have my own doubts. nature's not so stupid to make them totally colorblind after making them so vibrant and colorful....it's like giving us sweets and surgically removing our taste buds ! science is in its infancy anyway..i don't know what it can prove.)

anyway, that's how erratic the mind is. it jumps from one place to another.
back to the 'sense of humor', i've a sparrow with his nest at my living-room window. this guy whistles back at me when i whistle at him. he holds this rope at the window and slides down with one leg..worth watching atleast once in a lifetime. if that's not humor, nothing in the world is.
birds have a sense of humor..they have their share of fun. all the time. they don't wear watches, they don't believe in deadlines. they live. live for the moment. and sing for the moment. maybe that's the basis to a really good 'sense' of humor. not just about performing funny standups for people..animals don't care about all that. and watching these comedy shows on tv !!! they just show us how shockingly large the scarcity of happiness in our lives is.

as kids, we did stupid things and laughed at stupid things. anything and everything humored us. the reason is...that we were not stupid. we were simply uninhibited. we laughed when we wanted to laugh and did what we thought made us happy. now as we grow up, these rules. and curbing. and oh, the absolute fright of being called a kid !
when we don't 'live', we don't laugh.
and to think we're busy spending our leisure time staring at inanimate bmw's outside car showrooms. even worse, on computer monitors.
if you're really missing some nature in your life, now's the time to reassess it..it'll show you what a sense of humor REALLY is.
i'll get back to where i began

6th sense ? what is that ?

we became.

define 'define'.
define 'wannabe'.

choose between wannabe and cool

it's wannabe to wanna be cool
is it cool to wannabe? haha.. surprisingly, yes.

we love to teach....we love to preach..





....it's as beautiful to learn :-)





"you learn something everyday if you pay attention"
Ray LeBlond