generally erratic

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody, save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
- Mark Twain

hobbes says....

''somethings just don't need the thought that people give them''

definitely worth thinking about :)

the green light at the traffic signal

On an afternoon of free flowing thoughts, my fingers are delightfully typing away the thoughts of a day in the week that just passed..
The story about a little green light, that helped me sort my life.

Before i go on to it, here are 2 questions you ought to ask yourself :

1. Do you REALLY stop, and take time out for yourself and your problems ?

to think about all the amazing things you have..when you needn't have been lucky enough ? to think of your problems and find a way to solve them..

your problem may be SMALL..
or something really BIG
and most commonly as it occurs, it seems small to the rest of the world, and only you know how much it annoys the life out of you.

anyhow, it's just there..hanging around..
and you claim to think about it. but if you think about it at all the wrong times..
-during lectures
-at work
-when you're out for a coffee with friends
-or maybe out on a date
-when you're spending that rare 'quality time' with your family or a loved one..
does it get you anywhere ?
NO.
your lecturer sounds like a moron...your coffee tastes bitter, your date turns out a bozo, and your family doesn't seem to understand you.
do you realise how substantially perspectives change when you think about your problems at wrong times in the day ?

it may sound stupid when i say that it's better we don't think about our problems at particular times of the day..the reason being, the mind's not really under the control of what you wish you could always think of.
on the contrary, reality shows you that your problems occupy a huge chunk of your consciousness. you keep thinking about them and magnifying them, blowing them out of proportions till your life seems to be suspended at the edge of a cliff..

2. More importantly, do you think when you have to think ?
Do you think of what troubles you before you go to sleep ? do you think of it when you get back home from college or from work ?
think when you're alone. it helps you think better.
think about it when your mind is clear. when you're low, never come to a conclusion regarding problems..
just phone a friend and talk.
if that's not possible,take a small walk..you'll be cool again.


My little experience :

last friday, on my way back home from college, there was an unending traffic line at sion..
and to make things better, my green signal was really short.. talk about bad luck.
the GREEN light appeared and the deafening honking began..i was, like what it seemed, miles away from the signal. my cab moved with the infinitely long traffic line for a few seconds..and the RED took over
the whole process repeated twice and I was quite frustrated at the end of it.
after a lifetime of waiting, we crossed the green light..
strangely, it seemed to relate to my problem..that though i was crabbed with the frequency of the signal, i knew, all the way, that i was definitely going to get that green somehow.

my problem with life, was my impatience with regard to my expectations..
and this, is the real problem with most of us.
you don't wait long enough for what you want. you don't wait till the situation bends your way..

so, here's what you'd like to be reminded about..

When you want something to happen, just work for it. And wait.
put your best foot forward..
It has to go your way, because there's no other way it can.

Things may seem to stop you or take you backward, but it's upto you to have faith in yourself.
I totally believe in the green light at the traffic signal. Do you ?

-Aarthi

just to get you interested..

heya !

it's a common TOP hobby today
you may definitely go ahead if you like.....
PHOTOGRAPHY




i've figured most people do like photography
it sure is an expensive hobby..
but it's something that everybody enjoys..clicking and getting clicked ;)

with patience, time and effort, you gain the experience that you'll need.
it's about capturing moments and stop.ping them in time..with memories that can never be destroyed

the laughter, the tears, your baby's first smile
flowers, snow, beaches..dew drops..butterflies..
houses..cars, still life
people..festivals..
what is it that a photograph cannot capture ?

canon powershot G2 and A70 are good to start off with, if digital photography is where it's at.

Easy photography..to start off with
National Geographic photography website
it provides amateurs and beginners with the basic view, without having to go through a big intro
this one's helped me a lot..absolute basics

listed below, are a few websites that i found quite interesting..

Advanced
alex wilson photography
an amazing website with a good variety of photos that revolves mostly around artistic photography

mike moats' gallery : http://www.pbase.com/mgm123/mike_moats

Landscape photography
mark meyer
beautifully taken pictures of landscapes and still-life..
go, have a look

if you have other good websites to recommend, feel free to leave a comment !

- aarthi

the first breeze that blew across the bay..

you've wanted your early relationships to start as smooth as the love between Prince Charming and Cinderella...and thereafter work out as ''happily ever after'' ? but you finding yourself living in a twist. One month passes and you love them beyond the earth. Two months, and you love them beyond the ocean. Six months, and their quirks just bother you a bit, but a few years, and boom !

welcome home !

you're not the only one
it's just that all of us hope for the easy way out, though just a few know how difficult it is to find that person.
although we hope we can like and overcome, rather than tolerate each other's shortcomings..
although we feel we can cross over and ignore incompatibilities..
it's all easier said than done.

people who are...well, more practical, can I say, or more experienced about relationships...don't really care about how many relationships it takes to find the right one. Life is anything but a coincidence.
and out of the 2 billion people of the opposite sex, what chance have we of finding the so-called right one ?

fortunately or not so, life isn't that easy. Then first many relationships are the ones that demand a special attachment and memory. As much as people may dream to want to be together forever, in the very first go, things have a fair chance of not working out.

let's get real.
i totally admire people who found their lifelong loves first, are happy and still live with them. this is a matter of pure coincidence, congrats. I'm done talking about you.
with due respects to these exceptions, i can boldly tell you that the world is made up of people who've mostly been in more than a single serious relationship.
that's solely because of the fact that it's all a gamble.

first relationships are generally due to sparks, attraction, and elementary feelings. most people tend to make a mistake here, by thinking it's that mad love. (not to mention that we learn from our mistakes) their physical needs cloud their emotional needs, the needs to satisfy ego, self-respect etc.
the sparks are anyway extinguished in a few months or a year.
that's when all the small things you liked about the other person start to irritate you.
that's when the things they do seem to target your 'ego'
that's when you realize you made the biggest mistake in the whole darned world.
that's when you realize you're sad about the wrong person

there are a few people whom i know...who happen to be prolonging lifeless, meaningless first-time relationships.
for the sake of the world-just to show the world that they've achieved a big deal by being with each other for half-a-decade.. little realizing that they're not happy, that they're cheating themselves..(the world doesn't give two hoots about what you do....it's all about yourself. be yourself. like what you like. do what you want.Who cares that your friends saw you together ? What your friends think or saw isn't life at all ! )
for the sake of the habit that the other person has become in their life.. it's all a matter of habit. the phone conversations at half past 2 (a.m.), the shoulder, the couple lunches, the dinners, the movies..
for the sake of their 'i-am-feeling-lonely-and-depressed' phase that they fear after breaking up..

So..
who is the right one ?
how do you know it's the right one ?
does our opinion of the 'right one for me' change over time ?

'who is the right one ?'...is a question that cannot be answered to the point.
of course you know, that only you can answer it most closely.
- we do give descriptions of what we want in our ideal match...but little do we realise that none of us really know what we want even when we see a manifestation of it. It could pass us by and we wouldn't know.
we prefer laying our eyes on someone whom we've already met and mould our 'wants' according to what they are and then we realise we're thinking, ''ohh wow..you're the one i'm looking for....'', but it's so momentary that it's only when you grow out of someone that you realize they WERE the one but they are not the one.

it's easier for a girl to MEET a warm, charming, intelligent guy and LIKE him, rather than picture someone completely IMAGINARY having all these qualities and like Mr.I-exist-in-wonderland.
something similar applies to guys.

how do you know if he/she is the right one ?The irony is, you may not know it instantly. You could cross paths over and over and nothing might work out till it does. You might tear each other down to the floor or just remotely have existed in each other's lives forever and never even notice each other as potential till once fine day you feel deep down, what if they're the one ?
It's all a matter of time. It takes time to peel out their petals and see what they have to offer you inside..see if they're really what you wanted. See their worst, show them your worst, give each other a chance to see your best, and then a relationship slowly figures.
And to all those who want to argue saying , ''no, no. not at all. I'll just know my right person when I see him/her..'' please, get your feet back on the ground.

does our opinion of the right one for me change, with time ?yes it does. it really does.
I'm not talking about something drastic...basic ideas do not change.
you might start liking people of a different profession at another given time. you might start appreciating people who are settled in a different country, though you'd once thought that you never might.
you may want a partner who drinks 6 vodkas bottoms-up now, but three years down the lane, you might want a teetotaler.
it's all a question of time.
of how your likes and dislikes change.
of what your life demands out of you.

never give up hope. love happens after a long journey, after many, many lovers, all of whom are just many different beautiful flavors of "wrong".
Don't live for others.
Don't live hanging on to anything because you had put effort into that relationship and love into that relationship for so many years, and now they're just out there, with someone else.
Don't hang on to your ego..it makes you self-destructive without your knowledge.
Don't live to show the world anything. If at all life has taught you anything, it has taught you that if a beautiful girl is no more in your life, a more beautiful, intelligent, lovable girl will come along, and you've to just keep your eyes open. If a guy who you love doesn't see it in you, a more wonderful amazing guy who is far more capable of understanding your goodness will come along.
Don't compromise on your needs in the beginning or you'll regret it later.
and if you can help it, don't fall in love

after all, it's not just about the first breeze that blows across the bay...

and definitely read this small article...go : andrew boyd's 'loving the wrong person'

-aarthi kannan

what say ?

gordian casanova

thought i heard you say something yeah
when i turned my face and tried to shy
did i see a triumphant glint from the corner of my eye,
in your eye ?

now that fear is out
and i've nowhere to go
are you upbeat about the fact that
i've nothing left to show...

after you've stripped me of all my cover...
leaving my feelings out in the biting cold
what can i do if i cannot help but admit
that you're bold..

if i'm in awe, and you're in heaven
the seventh one of all those above
if i'm stuck in wonder, you're stuck in repletion
why isn't this - falling in love ?

taking a few steps back
in the road of my memory that retains your seclusion
i can recollect words which you twisted
cleverly into my conclusion

claiming every bit of peace
that rested in my silent mind
you ran, stealing every thought of order
so intriguing, no matter how unkind

so, my dear gordian casanova
here's a request i've to make to you
don't stop troubling the reasons of my living
come closer, and give me a clue..


-aarthi

honey, let's listen a bit..

It's so often that we wish the human race was gifted with ears that could listen.. as much as we wonder why most of us have been gifted with mouths that can jabber all day long with no complaints.....

the only thing in the world we probably listen to, without talking back to it, is music. and dads.


listeners are a rare species... those who listen to you when you Crib and Criticize, Cry and Complain, and return all of them with a sensible solution..a hope..a belief.. those who assure you with a trusting smile, and take your hand in theirs and say they believe in you and know that you can make it, even when you feel it's the end of your world...
those who empathize with your situation and shoulder your head, even when you deny the fact that you want sympathy, knowing fully well that you need it more than anything else.

listeners...come in packages called best friends, and psychiatrists. non-listeners come in packages called 'every second person you meet'

men can be listeners to girlfriends, and later, non-listeners to their wives
women...? no comments.

when you come across someone who is low in life, chances are that it's due to their loneliness. some people have the ability to put up with being alone, indulging themselves with activities other than those involving 'others'. some people just don't.
the root cause of people's loneliness, is when they cannot be heard by someone. most of them frequent phrases like "nobody understands me..'' this can almost always be taken for granted as ''nobody listens to me..'' or ''I've nobody to hear what I've to say..''

it gives great relief to a person, when you can hear them out, when you can lend not just your auditory senses, but also your attention to a few moments of what they talk, irrespective of whether they're happy, sad, manic or bored.

listening, again, doesn't mean you sit there mute.
listening is an interactive conversation, dominated by one person.. and made interactive by the listener.
attentiveness goes hand-in-hand with listening. if you're 'really listening', it can be translated as - you're paying attention. (heard that before in your classroom?)

human relationships are extremely fragile and a priority for every one of us, and life is too short to experiment everybody and find someone matching your tailored needs.
ultimately, listening is one of the main keys and an easy solution that can turn relationships into lifetime-bonds.

listening, is not a compromise.
it is the righteous, primary function of our ears.....which we cannot allow to become vestigial

wardrobe malfunction...

talk of the town : wardrobe malfunction.

real problem : is it really a top priority for newspapers ?

bigger problem : where is creative writing headed ?

WARDROBE MALFUNCTION - a smart term introduced by an american pop singer..if he's not american, i'm sorry. i dont care where he belongs.
now it's noticeably happening in places all over the planet.

whose mistake is it ? the designer's ? the model's ? the fashion show's ?
currently, there's something up here saying it could've been done with a motive behind it.
okay people, let's face it.
just asking you for an honest opinion....is it our business ? is it worth being called news ?

newspapers....they're dissecting the lady's profile, family history, phylogeny...and finding spanish meanings of her name !

it's about time people started writing articles with some relevance to what really happens and stopped writing ridiculous articles expecting themselves to be appreciated for something that makes no sense to anybody, including themselves.

find a better way to write articles for God's sake ! or rather, find better things to write articles on
wake up.

poison ivy

Poison ivy

A devastating charm, and that's your smile,
that's the charm i want on my lips,
but you steal it away in hidden glory,
grab it and evade like pirate ships

No room for kindness, no place for comfort,
no time for a chase, and the game is tough
you treat my heart like it's out on lease,
as you play with my love, but you can't get enough

Jet black eyes, and i look into those
they tell me something i simply cannot take,
A killer smile charming me from across
with magnetic confidence that just cant shake

Eyes which sparkle like deep red wine,
with a euphoric glint that makes me lose
no inner conflict, yet my way isn't clear,
the road is rough, but it's the road i choose

Devil in human form, thats who you are
it's clear from the way you look at me
with eyes that burn and flame with desire
but this game is more complicated than what i see

You're the devil i want to love,
and you're the thief whose heart i'll steal
you're the only man who is worth
the nights that i dream and the way that i feel

I can't resist these fervent desires
i'm a woman with only one reason to live
the reason is you, the reason is your love
there's no other reason i have to give

poison me into that magic world of yours
take me away just cuz i'm in love with you
there's no other reason we've met in this world
so be my adam and love me true


-AARTHI




-

i've been waiting for............

he...isnt very far away..
a person, a godfather who always encourages me, and makes me feel my best

on my mind, all the time, is this worry of where i'm headed now...
somehow, what the world said never seemed to matter to me, although sometimes, i did feel bad that i had to take time off and slog it out again, just to begin my career...
yet, i'm glad i'm not one of those fools who are easily satisfied with what they get, and do not aim to get what they want.. or any of those people out there, who just dont appreciate a wait, and hurry up their lives into a useless degree and a life they didn't really want..or just because they're too old to hav a second chance...the grapes are sour.

i became aware of what i am, when i spoke to him,
when he told me that i'm doing the right thing,all the doubts and fears in my head cleared, and i was pretty sure i hadn't gone wrong....
i respect his words because he is intelligent, and i consider his words as well.

whats the big deal about all the poor losers who cannot understand the meaning of 'patience' ? i cannot listen to them...their words are empty. and so are their brains.

silence....is golden

silence is a word that hasn't been felt...by many people..

silence.........is such a beautiful thing....

the power of silence remains unmatched.
silence can make...or break..

for one whole year, i've had to endure more silence than anything, and it has also taught me more than anything in the world ever could.

silence isnt just the mere absence of noise.

it's the absence of a social environment, it's the absence of everything that tags along with a social urban life

this year has been a year when i've had to put my heart and soul into what i'm doing, what i'm aiming for.. because i know i'm not going to get another chance
and the very beginning was when real silence came into the picture

i missed all those outings....i never went shopping with friends, no more come-down-right-now lunches.... i hardly maintained any of those amazingly idiotic telephone conversations i used to have with them...everybody got busy with their own lives, i got busy with mine...
all i attended, were classes and tests. i did manage to make new friends there too, but it never felt the same. the atmosphere was different, professional and i felt more than just out-of-place

no one stopped me from going out, but somehow i didnt feel the need to do it
in the beginning i did feel a bit lonely, for i wasn't able to be in constant touch with my friends. i used to cry sometimes, i used to crib, and feel left out...
gradually, all the lonely feelings wore out. i got involved with my studies, i didn't get time to feel lonely
yet, silence only grew with time, and i knew that the only way to deal with it, was to accept it
only then i could realise that it's much nicer than it just seems

i could learn a lot through it...

i got time to start thinking about my future

it left me more energetic and happier, at the end of the day ! it strengthened my hopes
it made me think better, think wiser. it made me think.

i avoided those small mistakes i'd made before, i gave a second thought to everything

i'd learnt to be patient

i had all the time in the world to take care of my problems, to deal with my feelings and understand who i really am

i'd finally found a stronger identity in myself...

i admit...it's been a lonely journey, but now i'm happy
and i'm strong enough to do without somebody's help in this world.

i haven't got what i really want, and who i really want

i dont have all my desires fulfilled, nor have i achieved my goal as yet
yet, i'm happy.
on the inside, i feel light..

-aarthi

explicitly confidential

what would it take to realise that....
there are just so many things that can pierce right through our minds and read the most private parts of our conscience ..

in a recent speech by a genius and cybernetics-scientist, Prof. Kevin Warwick, i realised where technology could take us 10 years down the line...it could take you to the innermost cell in the grey matter of the person sitting right next to you !!! wow...mind-reading..... ! mind-blowing, rather !!!!

my jaw dropped as low as this issue sounds far-fetched...but yes, i finally had to accept that all this could take place because its all a matter of time
however, the irony of it remains that we're not able to communicate mind-to-mind through mere telepathy, but that we're trying to use a chip as a mediator to achieve such feats...imagine....a chip--a handicraft by our brain

coming to think of it, Prof Kevin intends to experiment on himself.
in 2000 A.D., he proceeded with his project- ''cyborg''- part human, part computer
he planned on connecting a chip to his nervous system surgically, a chip that serves as the communicating medium between his nervous system and a computer, and then seeing what happens. so far, i havent heard of any mighty breakthrough regarding this experiment, but i believe that cyborg will fetch him success
some people say that he's some kind of lunatic trying to pull off a major stunt...i dont really think so

i feel, that one fine day, 10 or 100 years from now onwards, mind-reading with the help of technology will no more be a myth.


Sunday January 29, 2006 - 11:18pm

the 18th blossom....

18, sounds...well... advertising...?!

i've turned 18....and, it's not an overnight journey to becoming more responsible..
in india, it's about crossing the first legal barrier in life...
i'm not happy, or sad.. it doesnt seem to make that much of a difference to the emotional aspect of it.
but one thing's for sure, i've started realising a change in myself in the last few months...it's a substantial change in a relatively short period of time !
every important thing has changed- my outlook towards life, people, the way i deal with people, what really interests me, who really interests me..
and of course, the big thing that i'm aiming for...and thats where my priority lies...where the very heart of my wishes lies..

i realise why 18 is a legal barrier... it involves a lot of difference in the way you start looking at life...
your hormones start taking a backseat.. so you think clearer, and start realising so much more.
adolescence hasnt completely ended though...i realise what a 15-year-old i turn into sometimes...like when i see clothes..or shoes...

but yeah, let me tell you frankly...now there's a rush inside me...when i say...i'm 18 ! :)
it's a whole new feeling- a feeling of freedom, a bit of grown-up-ness...excuse my english there

fact remains...i'm half adolescent...and i enjoy it thoroughly !
i turn 16 again when i look into the mirror and crib about blemishes on my face or when my hair looks limp and horse-tailey
call it silly...

but thats the way it is
oh, but my dad treats me like i'm still 14...how annoying !


-aarthi

confused..confused..

aaah..i'm confused again
i'm possibly in every negative mood u can describe..
i feel irresposible, bugged, perplexed by the people around me, useless and...this makes a downer mood for me
i gotta get down to some serious studying otherwise i'll get nowhere
all this apart,
diwali was great...celebrating it our the new house made it even better :)
we had so many sweets...atleast 15 different sweets this time at home...and..truckloads of them
oboy..my sweet tooth has dissolved and run away and i'm too sick of anything sweet now
the classes for this week are over. the weekend's gonna be a quick runaway to bangalore..the week's basically packed with work to do
so..now i'm gonna be a good girl and sit with my books for sometime, so that i dont forget what they are
goodbye,
and so sorry u wasted 3 minutes of ur small life reading this crap.
bye
aarthi

Tuesday November 8, 2005 - 10:38pm

howdy !

hi everybody !!!
welcome to my world...where i'm gonna express, shout, scream and swear to the extent that i really want.
i'll be copy-pasting some of my previous blogs from my previous blog, right here
after that, i'm blogging here on a regular basis
brand new blog...
and i hope this one remains