Human relationships are so complex. And yet so simple. They can blossom with a word and be broken by another.
Even when there's a big hoo-ha about all the positivity and the goodness in the world, I find myself talking about the complexities. The sad stuff, sometimes the negative stuff. Some of my posts talk about how to deal with challenging situations, with difficulty, and still motivate us to move on. They talk about letting go of difficult relationships, moving on from breakups.
I was mulling over why I'm focusing on the not-so-flowery stuff in my writing when my sis told me that it's actually alright to talk about how to get to the other side of sorrow. Across.
Hmm.
We all experience it.
We deal with it by avoiding it and occupying ourselves with work and/or (unfortunately for some-) addiction.
Or by sinking into its depth and becoming incapable of being happy, but never really experiencing, learning and getting out of it.
Some of us are so unknowingly wounded by these demanding situations that we never grow out of it.
It becomes a painful part of our personality, changing the way we perceive relationships, marriages and love for the worse, when infact, everyone deserves the happiness of new love and new lovers.
Experiencing a personally challenging journey is adventurous. It prepares you for the best, because experience is such a good thing. Good and bad experiences both, count.
It's okay to make that mistake.
It's really okay to be in a break up. A bad one. They happen all the time. It's okay to be in a relationship that falls apart, and have all your plans fail and just fall. Flat out on your face. Because nothing is more liberating than accepting that it's over and moving on.
It's okay to know what it's like to feel pain and heartbreak, and admit to it. You don't need to pretend like it didn't touch you, or you were the lesser hurt one out of the two. It's really okay if you don't have it together all the time. Many people do not know how to let their emotions out healthily. Crying, falling apart and arguing are absolutely healthy ways of letting out negative emotion, and it must come out because it exists. After all, where can a river flow from if there's no water at the source, and why should it stop flowing if there is ?
What people say or think, worries us.
On so many occasions.
If they say it's okay to laugh, smile and be happy, then you should be asking those people why they spurn so much at you when you don't have it together. Why do they pressure you so much to get a grip ?
The truth is, it doesn't matter. They don't matter. Those people who tell you how you should be, what your problem is, they don't even matter.
(picture credit : weheartit.com)
What really matters is you.
Your personal growth through a difficult situation is so, so important. You are you, and you have all the right to deal with your emotions the way you see fit for your betterment.
Don't be okay with people who take your feelings for granted, and at the same time don't regret it when things don't go your way. That, will make you a stronger person who will be with someone as complete and sorted as you are, and more capable of loving you and seeing the lovely person that you are. After all, they have to be and feel like they are worthy of your wonderful love too. Remember that.
It is impossible that only one person, a single situation or circumstance could make us happy, or be the love of our lives.
Babe, you're mortal. There must be many more ways, and there are. Know that if one road hasn't worked out for any reason, the other door that has always been open has been waiting for you and calling out to you. Just make sure your eyes are open to see that road that waited for you to turn up, so you could give it your first chance.
I've been in these shoes.
As much as I've experienced the beauty of being in love, doing and receiving nice things from the men I've been with, I really do know what it's like to be sad in it, to cry, to feel hurt, to feel let down, to have my expectations crash and be let go of, nowhere, on the middle of the road. I know how a bad, bad break up with someone you love feels. Awful.
As a teenager, I was in a bad break up. I didn't know if I'd ever be the same again, but I remember just distracting my way out of it. I went out with friends, watched movies, went dancing, took walks everyday, worked on my fitness and I was back to my happy self in no time. Yep, I was low and it felt like it would never end. But that's never the story.
It's all a matter of time before you realize your worth.
(Picture credit : simpleremiders.com)
I know, it doesn't feel alright, when what you're sharing with someone special is watered down to a "nothing" of sorts by someone who isn't prepared to take on the responsibility of what they got into. That's their choice.
Your choice is to let it go.
Your choice is NOT anger or resentment or hatred. Let it go. Just accepting that it's over makes it so so easy. (trust me on this one)
(Picture credit : Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love)
Just have plain love for yourself. I know, this sounds so, so irritating and wrong and impossible right now. But decide and know, that you were always worth the best and you need not ever settle for less. Your priority is you. It's just about peacefully letting go and finding your life back. It's really a part of the growth curve. The situations you attract into your life are always for your betterment if you seek them out.
You are not required to go about like everyone else, testing the waters and absolutely being sure that the other person is more invested than you, just so you feel safe and in control.
You are not required to play defensive and try to control a new relationship by being unwilling to invest emotions, just because your last relationship didn't go right.
Don't jump into a fling. Don't do any of these things. Just concentrate on yourself right now. You need yourself, your identity and your happiness.
You're very very precious, darling, and fully deserving of love as all human beings are, and when you build your walls to every new person and experience, you're only blocking out the good that is coming to you. Don't ever avoid a situation to feel good, you just get in again, but wiser, and more learned with the next new person. The correct relationship will respect you and give you what you deserve.
Eat well. Get some protein. Have fruit, plenty of water, get sunshine, exercise and rest. Go to a spa, get a pedicure or a foot rub. Dress well. Go out on walks. Make tea, make coffee. Read comic books. Talk to someone. Breathe. It's not the end, is it ? Look around you !
Human relationships are volatile. They require effort to stay grounded. Now it also matters that the other person makes that effort, not just you.
Be grounded. Be your own rock. Let go of the people who cannot love you the way you are. Open your palm, let go of them with peace. Take your passions along with you and in no time, you'll have your kickass life and the happiness you want. Just because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It exists and believe me, I've seen it so recently, and it's very easy if you trust it. You'll be there before you know it, and you've my promise.
Take therapy.
For those that do not stay around family or have friends close by, go see a counselor. It isn't glamourous, but this is so, so essential if you want to talk to someone and your family and friends aren't enough. It is not crazy, it's not weird. Everyone goes through stuff, and the idea is to get you back on solid ground, doesn't matter how.
I'm not joking about this for one second.
If you really, really need help and you feel like talking to someone or sharing how you feel with someone, you think you cannot find that help elsewhere, email me.
I mean it. Just click on the link and share with me whatever it is that bothers you about the breakup. I'm here to listen. And I will, I promise.
Much, much love and wishing you healing !
Aarthi
Even when there's a big hoo-ha about all the positivity and the goodness in the world, I find myself talking about the complexities. The sad stuff, sometimes the negative stuff. Some of my posts talk about how to deal with challenging situations, with difficulty, and still motivate us to move on. They talk about letting go of difficult relationships, moving on from breakups.
I was mulling over why I'm focusing on the not-so-flowery stuff in my writing when my sis told me that it's actually alright to talk about how to get to the other side of sorrow. Across.
Hmm.
We all experience it.
We deal with it by avoiding it and occupying ourselves with work and/or (unfortunately for some-) addiction.
Or by sinking into its depth and becoming incapable of being happy, but never really experiencing, learning and getting out of it.
Some of us are so unknowingly wounded by these demanding situations that we never grow out of it.
It becomes a painful part of our personality, changing the way we perceive relationships, marriages and love for the worse, when infact, everyone deserves the happiness of new love and new lovers.
Experiencing a personally challenging journey is adventurous. It prepares you for the best, because experience is such a good thing. Good and bad experiences both, count.
It's okay to make that mistake.
It's really okay to be in a break up. A bad one. They happen all the time. It's okay to be in a relationship that falls apart, and have all your plans fail and just fall. Flat out on your face. Because nothing is more liberating than accepting that it's over and moving on.
It's okay to know what it's like to feel pain and heartbreak, and admit to it. You don't need to pretend like it didn't touch you, or you were the lesser hurt one out of the two. It's really okay if you don't have it together all the time. Many people do not know how to let their emotions out healthily. Crying, falling apart and arguing are absolutely healthy ways of letting out negative emotion, and it must come out because it exists. After all, where can a river flow from if there's no water at the source, and why should it stop flowing if there is ?
What people say or think, worries us.
On so many occasions.
If they say it's okay to laugh, smile and be happy, then you should be asking those people why they spurn so much at you when you don't have it together. Why do they pressure you so much to get a grip ?
The truth is, it doesn't matter. They don't matter. Those people who tell you how you should be, what your problem is, they don't even matter.
(picture credit : weheartit.com)
What really matters is you.
Your personal growth through a difficult situation is so, so important. You are you, and you have all the right to deal with your emotions the way you see fit for your betterment.
Don't be okay with people who take your feelings for granted, and at the same time don't regret it when things don't go your way. That, will make you a stronger person who will be with someone as complete and sorted as you are, and more capable of loving you and seeing the lovely person that you are. After all, they have to be and feel like they are worthy of your wonderful love too. Remember that.
It is impossible that only one person, a single situation or circumstance could make us happy, or be the love of our lives.
Babe, you're mortal. There must be many more ways, and there are. Know that if one road hasn't worked out for any reason, the other door that has always been open has been waiting for you and calling out to you. Just make sure your eyes are open to see that road that waited for you to turn up, so you could give it your first chance.
I've been in these shoes.
As much as I've experienced the beauty of being in love, doing and receiving nice things from the men I've been with, I really do know what it's like to be sad in it, to cry, to feel hurt, to feel let down, to have my expectations crash and be let go of, nowhere, on the middle of the road. I know how a bad, bad break up with someone you love feels. Awful.
As a teenager, I was in a bad break up. I didn't know if I'd ever be the same again, but I remember just distracting my way out of it. I went out with friends, watched movies, went dancing, took walks everyday, worked on my fitness and I was back to my happy self in no time. Yep, I was low and it felt like it would never end. But that's never the story.
It's all a matter of time before you realize your worth.
(Picture credit : simpleremiders.com)
I know, it doesn't feel alright, when what you're sharing with someone special is watered down to a "nothing" of sorts by someone who isn't prepared to take on the responsibility of what they got into. That's their choice.
Your choice is to let it go.
Your choice is NOT anger or resentment or hatred. Let it go. Just accepting that it's over makes it so so easy. (trust me on this one)
Just have plain love for yourself. I know, this sounds so, so irritating and wrong and impossible right now. But decide and know, that you were always worth the best and you need not ever settle for less. Your priority is you. It's just about peacefully letting go and finding your life back. It's really a part of the growth curve. The situations you attract into your life are always for your betterment if you seek them out.
You are not required to go about like everyone else, testing the waters and absolutely being sure that the other person is more invested than you, just so you feel safe and in control.
You are not required to play defensive and try to control a new relationship by being unwilling to invest emotions, just because your last relationship didn't go right.
Don't jump into a fling. Don't do any of these things. Just concentrate on yourself right now. You need yourself, your identity and your happiness.
You're very very precious, darling, and fully deserving of love as all human beings are, and when you build your walls to every new person and experience, you're only blocking out the good that is coming to you. Don't ever avoid a situation to feel good, you just get in again, but wiser, and more learned with the next new person. The correct relationship will respect you and give you what you deserve.
Eat well. Get some protein. Have fruit, plenty of water, get sunshine, exercise and rest. Go to a spa, get a pedicure or a foot rub. Dress well. Go out on walks. Make tea, make coffee. Read comic books. Talk to someone. Breathe. It's not the end, is it ? Look around you !
Human relationships are volatile. They require effort to stay grounded. Now it also matters that the other person makes that effort, not just you.
Be grounded. Be your own rock. Let go of the people who cannot love you the way you are. Open your palm, let go of them with peace. Take your passions along with you and in no time, you'll have your kickass life and the happiness you want. Just because you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It exists and believe me, I've seen it so recently, and it's very easy if you trust it. You'll be there before you know it, and you've my promise.
Take therapy.
For those that do not stay around family or have friends close by, go see a counselor. It isn't glamourous, but this is so, so essential if you want to talk to someone and your family and friends aren't enough. It is not crazy, it's not weird. Everyone goes through stuff, and the idea is to get you back on solid ground, doesn't matter how.
I'm not joking about this for one second.
If you really, really need help and you feel like talking to someone or sharing how you feel with someone, you think you cannot find that help elsewhere, email me.
I mean it. Just click on the link and share with me whatever it is that bothers you about the breakup. I'm here to listen. And I will, I promise.
Much, much love and wishing you healing !
Aarthi
